reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
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