Just cropdusted the office
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
