Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
Randomize
