Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
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