I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think my cat just said my name.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
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