You smell like stripper and shame
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Randomize
