Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize