I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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