My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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