we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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