and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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