he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize
