I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
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Just took my morning after pill in the library
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
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Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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