it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize