I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Randomize
