I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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