Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
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