What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
