if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
