Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
Randomize
