she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
Sacagawea was the original milf.
sarcasm needs its own font
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Randomize
