Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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