I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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