i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
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