So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Randomize
