yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
