what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Randomize
