I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
Randomize
