Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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