Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
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