I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Randomize
