Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka