just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Green mimosas i think yes
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
