We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
im six kinds of drunk right now
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
