Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Randomize
