so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Randomize