ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
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