Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
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