I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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