Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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