it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
So much Jack, so little girl.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
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