it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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