the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
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