Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
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