So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
