And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
wrigley field is MILF paradise
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
