I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
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