wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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