Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
