it was like eating out sand paper
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
