I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Randomize
