well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
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