so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
I am invincible.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster