I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
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pop tarts are not kleenex
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
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Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting