Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"