break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Is This New Dating App Elitist…Or Genius?
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it