dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
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Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
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Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask