never play flip cup with pint glasses
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.