dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Is Oprah even human
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.