Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
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